new era, new blog

Let's be honest...time for a new blog. I thought about giving a face lift to the old standby, but I thought a new creation would do me some good. Don't get me started on the blog address. I chide my parents for spelling my name in such a "unique" way, pride myself on being able to find myself when I Google my name, yet everything seemed to not work for a blog address with my oh so unique name. Go figure. The address just is what it is.

And the name of my blog comes out of some things I have had on my mind as of late and a good conversation with a brilliant friend of mine. She seriously needs to write a book...or at least speak up above all the chatter that happens around us everyday.

Choice. We make them daily. Some aren't all that important. Hair straight or curly, jeans or skirt, blah, blah...no one ultimately cares about those things. But, then it comes down to the big things. School. Dating. Jobs. Spending time. Or money. My dad always says, "Just do the best you can with the information you have available." And so that's what we do. But sometimes we make awful decisions. We probably would do things differently in hindsight, but we did the best we could. And then the beating up of ourselves sets in. As I was making some decisions recently concerning my internship, my dad said, "You're a smart girl. You'll figure it out. You'll make the right decision." And all I could think was "NO. I could absolutely make the wrong decision." I have made wrong decisions in the past. The decision I make now could end up being a terrible one--time will tell. All we can do is keep deciding. It doesn't come down to making a right or wrong decision, really. It is just making a choice of any kind. Belief in right and wrong decisions can paralyze you. Which brings me to my next part of the blog's title.

Acceptance. I was chatting with my friend about her life and the place she is in. I recognized that the calm and serenity I sense from her comes from acceptance. Of things that are happening. Of mistakes. Of feelings, those both perceived as positive or negative. Acceptance of life. Acceptance of our own version of success. The periphery stuff melts away. Sadly we live in a society, culture, and religion dominated by competition, of milestones, or markers of success. I want to be in the place like my friend and refuse all that. It only makes us crazy. My grandma has always told me she started thinking for herself when she was 35. I always thought that was sad and in my know-it-allness of my 20s, I thought "Well, I have her beat. I already think for myself." And I did to some degree. But hopefully I can begin to accept life and recognize that I don't have to choose what everyone else is choosing. I am beginning to see what she really meant. And I hope I can have the courage to do so just like my dear grandma. Make a choice, be honest with how I feel, and accept whatever comes my way so I can make the best of it.

Here's hoping I don't forget I started a new blog!